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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend helping her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my version of living actively: observing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we create together can achieve: an opening. I know not everyone likes being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private filmmaker, but friends help each other in small ways. My assumption was filming a clip now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She must to honor her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some authentic experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their bond?